In scenes circa 2007, University once again played their old foes Eastern Suburbs in torrential conditions at Camperdown. The Students should have changed their names to  Enhydra lutris* as the precipitation was incessant throughout the whole game, converting the pitch into a giant mosh pit. Games were shifted and cancelled by the minute, an evacuation alarm sounded emptying a function in the grandstand unexpectedly. Despite the conditions and interruptions, University defeated Easts 41-6.

Easts scored an early penalty. However, University played smart to complement the conditions. The ball was kept tight and the forwards were grinding Easts relentlessly. Number eight Mitch Whiteley started the points rolling with a dart down the blindside off a ruck to crash over in the eastern corner. A 5-3 lead later changed to 10-3 when loose Captain, Jack McCalman motored over from continued picking and driving. This score line stood for the remainder of the half.

There was no traditional bafflegab* characterising these old foes in games gone by. The University team was more focused on getting into a warm dry dressing room to plot their second half mission.

Their game plan came to fruition as University literally exhausted, bustled and forced Easts into errors for the second half. With a stiff breeze behind their backs University with superior at set piece and recycling they scored quick tries at will. Easts could only score three more points and in the words of a famous Warner Brothers cartoon characters signature sign off…. $%^$#*…. that’s all folks!

The University forwards were making inroads despite the heavy conditions. Big second rower Zac von Appen was prominent rampaging through the Easts defensive line. A halftime Powerade drink and a slice of his Oma’s apple strudel did wonders!

Ten minutes from the end the score line reflected 34-6. University had pinned Easts inside their half for the majority of the second half. When University made a swathe of replacements late in the game there was still no respite from the pressure. Prominent amongst this was replacement tight head prop bustling beefcake Brad Amituanai who was bumping off red, white and blue jerseys whenever he took the ball up. University completed the mission with a late converted try for a 41-6 bonus point victory.

University retained the Dave Brockhoff Cup in memory of the former Wallaby and Wallaby coach who played for both Easts and University.

Head Coach, Sean Hedger was all smiles after last week’s disappointing loss. “The forwards completely dominated after the disappointment of last week. We got back to where we belong with our forwards dominating.” Forwards coach Mark Bakewell a man who feels no cold wearing shorts throughout the whole icy afternoon saw another reason for victory. “We secured field position which was incredible in such poor conditions.”

Next week we venture to the deep south canal surrounded hamlet of Sylvania Waters against Southern Districts.

* Enhydra lutris -sea otters

*Bafflegab – confusing unintelligible jargon

Tries: Whiteley (2), McCalman (2), Loh, Amituanai
Conversions: Goddard (4)
Penalty Goals: Goddard